Conventional wisdom tells us that scars fade over time. But they don’t always fade on their own. Whether physical or emotional, diminishing scars is a process that takes work. Heck! A whole lotta patience too.

May years ago I stumbled into a large bowl of boiling oil which badly burnt my left arm and left limbs. In the weeks and months that followed, the pain subsided but the scars did not. The scars grew hard, red, and puffy. Ugly reminders of the burn. Every time I’d look at my left arm and thigh, I was right back in the memory of all the pain I’d experienced. Embarrassed at my skin’s imperfection, I wanted to hide them. To cover them up. But I realized that wouldn’t make them go away. Fading them would take time and effort. I am sure my parents started rubbing scar-reducing cream into them several times a day. The nerves under the scars are very sensitive, so rubbing them can be rather painful. But the combination of the massage and cream has started to soften and lighten the scars. To my surprise they are fading. But not entirely gone. 

They remained, especially the amoebic map of scar on my left thigh.

In thinking about my scars, it occurs to me that emotional scars are much the same way. When we face a trauma in my life, we are often left with emotional scars. If left to their own devices they can get irritated and raw. They can make us feel imperfect, unwanted, unloved and embarrassed. We might try to cover them up and hide them only to find that they are just like Jehovah, as present as ever. It’s only when we start to massage our emotional scars that they start to go away.

It’s painful to address emotional scars in the moment. Touching that nerve sends reverberating pain up and down our psyche, making us wince and want to withdraw - from love, laughter and life. But we have to retrain our nerves. Exposure lessens the pain. Exposure lightens the scars.

A raw wound in my life I’m realizing is the post traumatic emotional distress I’ve ever dealt with was a blow dealt me from a dame much cherished. I’ve wanted to hide it. To put on a brave face and pretend that the scars from that memory didn’t exist. But memories don't self destruct. Pretending has only given the resulting nightmares more power torment even more. I’ve noticed that as I’ve started to talk about my experiences it’s gotten better. 

Massaging that wound has stimulated healing. Talking about it, in all honesty hastened healing. I even recently inked the hurts and all in amazing poems that make me smile and sigh, yet feels lot better that imploding them all at the detriment of my emotional well-being.

Scars will always be there. Both emotional and physical. But overtime and with the proper care, they will fade. Until then, they are our battle scars. 

Our scars are solemn reminders that we came, we saw and we are conquering. Not reminders of weakness but evidence of my strength. 
Of how much I’ve endured. 
Of being a survivor. 
Of winners who never back down.
Of resilient hustlers.
Of hearty beings. 
Of wounded warriors who wield words still, in spite of lows and downtime...
And that will never fade.

My scars, your scars, our scars, they are stars that tell of ranks attained. Be proud of them, your scars...and go slay more years.

- A Note To Myself


I published a new book recently: Title: You Are Loved And You Belong Here.

This book is a collection of letters, articles and daily musings that serves as a reminder to you, who’s emotionally bruised that You Are Loved, And You Belong Here.

To buy book on OkadaBooks Click Here

To buy book on Amazon Kindle Click Here